Because We Are Human Life/Death/Law Podcast

Welcome to Life/Death/Law. A podcast about estate planning, an issue that affects all of us, because we're human. Lawyers tend to make estate planning both boring and hard, but I think it doesn't need to be either one. After 20 years writing about it and writing estate plans for hundreds of families, I actually think it's a fascinating and rich topic. Death is like sex. We all do it, but we're often afraid to talk about it. I created the Life/Death/Law podcast to answer your questions with no judgement and to bring you experts on topics that matter. Are you ready? Let's get started.

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Emily Nagoski, PhD,  and her sister Amelia Nagoski, DMA, authors of the new book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, know all about accomplishment — Emily is the author of the New York Times best-seller, Come as You Are: the surprising new science that will transfrom your sex life, and Amelia is a professor of music and a classical conductor. They also know, first hand, about the feelings of emotional overwhelm and exhaustion that can come with that accomplishment, so they wrote a book about how to overcome it.

Death and dying are incredibly stressful moments in a family’s life and many women are the caretakers for the old and sick. I asked Emily and Amelia to be on Life/Death/Law because feelings of overwhelm, trying to control the uncontrollable, and feeling isolated and sad are so common for the people that I work with–I think Burnout is a must read for just about everyone.

In this episode of Life/Death/Law, join us for a long-ranging discussion of why women experience burnout differently than man do, and some simple things that you can do to minimize stress, manage your emotions and live your life with resilience and joy. (You will also find out why babies love to be bounced!)

Burnout – Emily and Amelia Nagoski Life/Death/Law Podcast
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In this episode of Life/Death/Law Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel, author of The Power of an Open Question and The Logic of Faith, joins me for a wonderful conversation on finding grace in a world we can’t control.

A longtime buddhist practitioner and worldwide teacher, she brings humor, insight and compassion to the issues we all face as human beings: how to find faith and live with grace in a life that is short and full of challenge?

 “As long as you are breathing and your heart is pumping in your chest, you will never escape the need ‘to faith,’ and why would you want to? The human predicament literally pushes at you day after day, calling to your courage and intelligence, imploring you to pay attention to life as it is, urging you to let go into humbleness. How long can you ignore it?”

The “F” Word (Faith)-Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel Life/Death/Law Podcast
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firefighters-115800_640-300x201California’s recent fires in Butte County certainly got me thinking about my family’s important documents and how best to store them safely. It is so hard to imagine losing everything and having to rebuild from the ground up. Storing our most important documents in a firesafe box suddenly seemed really relevant. I’m guessing that I’m not the only person thinking this way, so, in the spirit of the collective anxious unconscious, here’s a list of what to keep and my thoughts on some best practices to keep these documents safe.

First: What to Keep

Here are a list of the documents that I would advise you to keep. While it is true that many of these are public records (like birth and death certificates or property deeds) having them accessible, and having copies of them, will make it easier after a disaster.

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Dara Kosberg, is the Director of Programming for the Reimagine End of Life Conference, beginning October 27, in New York. It will be a city-wide event that will include over 300 events, 60 Interactive Rituals, 32 performances, and 15 comedy shows.

Dara is also a member of the Founding Team for The Dinner Party, a community of mostly 20-30 somethings who have each experienced profound loss and connect around potluck dinners to talk about it.

Dara’s vision is vast. She’s on a mission to transform life after loss from an isolating experience into one marked by community support, honest conversation, and a meaningful life. Join us in this episode of Life/Death/Law as Dara discusses her creative and inspiring work in helping people to connect and talk about death, dying, and, most importantly, living.

Dara Kosberg: Reimagine End of Life and The Dinner Party Life/Death/Law Podcast
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In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Michael Hebb, the founder of Death Over Dinner, discusses his new book, Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner): An Invitation and Guide to Life’s Most Important Conversation.

Since he founded Death Over Dinner in 2013, more than 100,000 people have sat down together over a home-cooked meal to talk, really talk, about what they do and don’t want at the end of their lives, and what they can do, now, to make both their lives and their deaths more meaningful for themselves and their loved ones.

Michael is 100% right when he says that how we end our lives is the most important and costly conversation America is not having. If you have ever wondered how to get that conversation started, either for yourself or for someone you love, please listen.

Michael Hebb: Death Over Dinner Life/Death/Law Podcast
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In this episode, award-winning journalist and author Katy Butler discusses her newest book, The Art of Aging and Dying Well, as well as her memoir, Knocking on Heaven’s Door, two books about meeting aging and death with grace, intelligence, and resilience.

If you have ever struggled with how best to support a loved one as they confront old age, sickness, and death, or wondered what you can do, now, to make sure that your old age is as independent and healthy as possible and that your death be a natural one surrounded by love, listen to Katy Butler. 

Katy Butler: The Art of Aging and Dying Well Life/Death/Law Podcast
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In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Dr. Jessica Zitter, author of Extreme Measures: Finding a Better Path to the End of Life, talks openly and honestly about how to communicate with your doctors about what you or a loved one wants, and doesn’t want, for end of life care; how to pick the right person to act as your health care agent and make medical decisions for you; and what palliative care can offer those facing chronic illness. But more than that, she is a compassionate and articulate voice for changing the way that people die in this country and the role that the medical profession can play in improving end of life care. I loved talking to her and I think you’ll love listening.

She is Harvard and UCSF-trained to practice the unusual combination of Critical and Palliative Care medicine.  She works as an Attending Physician at a public hospital in Oakland, California.

She is a regular contributor to The New York Times and her articles have appeared in The AtlanticTime Magazine, Journal of the American Medical Association, The Washington Post and many other publications.

Extreme Measures:  Dr. Jessica Zitter Life/Death/Law Podcast
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In this episode of Life/Death/Law, join me for a conversation with Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, a physician, speaker, writer, activist, and the force behind two amazing movies about end of life: Extremis and End Game, both available on Netflix (so watch them!).

Dr. Ungerleider also (when not producing movies and making social change) works as an internist practicing hospital medicine at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco. She received her medical degree from Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, OR and completed residency at California Pacific Medical Center where she is now on the teaching faculty and serves on the Executive Board of the Foundation Board of Trustees.

Extremis, which is about end of life decision making in the ICU at Oakland’s Highland Hospital, won best Documentary Short at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2017, and was nominated for an Academy Award and two Emmies. End Game recently premiered at Sundance, and is about palliative care and end of life planning in the face of terminal illness, and was filmed at UCSF and Zen Hospice, in San Francisco. Both movies are heartfelt, engaging, honest and important. They show, without preaching, how important it is for your loved ones to know what you do and don’t want at end of life and how palliative care and hospice can add quality to that time.

End Well – Planning for a Better End of Life Life/Death/Law Podcast
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In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Einat Sandman Clarke, Senior Counsel at Google LLC provides an inside look at how Google handles requests for digital assets (like emails, photos, and videos) after someone has died and discusses the broader legal landscape that governs all service providers facing requests to release digital communications belonging to their users.

Learn how to use Google’s Inactive Account Manger to control access to your digital assets (like email,  videos, images, and documents) and why service providers (like Google, Apple, facebook, and Yahoo) can’t give anyone access to your stored electronic communications without your consent, or a court order.

If you’ve ever worried about what will happen to your digital life after you die (and who hasn’t), please listen.

Access to Digital Assets After Death — The Inside Scoop from Google Life/Death/Law Podcast
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05-Talking-to-Kids-LifeDeathLaw-300x300In this episode I’m taking to Dr. Muffie Weibe Waterman, author of Wired to Listen, a book about how what we say to kids, and don’t, impacts the way that kids see the world and act in it. In her book, Dr. Waterman writes about how, and when, to talk to kids about the hard stuff; death, divorce, and sex–topics that we all struggle with addressing honestly and effectively with our kids.

I asked her to be on the show because many of the people that I work with, and many of the people listening to this show, struggle with talking appropriately, and effectively, to kids (of all ages) about death and dying. These conversations can be around the death of a beloved grandparent, or about the process of estate planning, or, even, between adult children and elderly parents, about the reality of end of life planning.

If you have ever struggled with how to talk honestly and openly about death and dying with your children or your parents, and honestly, who hasn’t?, I think you’ll enjoy listening to today’s show.

Talking About the Hard Stuff Life/Death/Law Podcast